That the change that’s coming… is a big one. It’s tremendous, it’s unspoiled. It’s simple and feverish. The minute he saw her, he understood what had been missing from his life. It was hokey, he knew, and sentimental and sappy, but that didn’t make it any less true. What he’d been longing for, without even realizing it, had been that elusive, magical mixture of friendship and passion that he’d only ever found with her. (Summer Island – Kristin Hannah) Another change is coming to my life. It is still undeniable and I’ve long given up the use of tags. I don’t want to collect things anymore. I don’t want to keep every stich of candy wrapper or memory from any special moment in my life. I don’t need souvenirs to live well and true.
I only need you. Where are you?
I’m not searching. I’ve got a lot to figure out. There’s so much more that I need to understand. I have to re-discover myself. I have to find out who I am without you. I wonder about the future, like all young women do. But wondering can only do so much for the bills and relationships. I have to work now. I have to be complete by myself. I have to be alone and courageous– there is no other way. If I don’t stand up on my own two feet, I’ll be an empty shell all my life. I don’t want that. So here’s to my present. Let it break open gray clouds and glitter with the ferocity of a million suns. (august 4, 2010)