Nico Lang’s Thought Catalog Piece

I recently read this thoughtcatalog article, “Its OK To Be The One Who Cares More”

I am scared.  I am scared of how the title of this piece can be misinterpreted by people.  I’m scared that I agree to the sentiment of this article. Agreeing to this sentiment opens the floodgates to hurt.  At the same time, the article is a call to action.  A call to trust and be vulnerable to the other, despite the risk of getting hurt.  But I can only accept the words of this article in the context of love as defined by M. Scott Peck.  He notes that love is not a feeling, but an activity, and defines it as “the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own and another’s spiritual growth.”

Excerpts that hurt (in a good way):

Don’t be afraid to be the one who cares more. Don’t be afraid to be your loving, thin-skinned self… if we want to find love, fulfillment and happiness, we need to stop caring what people think and care about being true to ourselves and validating our real emotions. Because if someone doesn’t like you for that, what’s the point?

On the fear of rejection:

We can hide from the impending rejection that living in the world entails. Or we can choose to live in the world, enjoy all of the beauty and terror it has in store for us and cherish our limitless ability to care, no matter how much it hurts sometimes. Instead of focusing on our pain and rejection, we can love it for what it teaches us and think about how good it will feel when our earnest devotion and kindness is reciprocated, when someone embraces the gift of our whole heart for the beautiful bleeding organ it is.


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