A Movie at the End of 2012


I just spent the past 2 hours and 18 minutes watching “As Good As It Gets.”  That movie is something else!  I thought I was going to re-watch “Something’s Gotta Give.”  It was a random click I did, while lying on my bed eating green mango!  I wasn’t even going to finish it!  And then I was watching it and I couldn’t understand why there were these two gay characters, a dog and Helen Hunt instead of Keeanu Reeves and Diane Keaton!  But it floored me!  It floored me!  I’ve been feeling so sad, scared, hopeless these past few days, nursing a broken heart and all and then this movie comes into my life!  I got two sets of goosebumps during key moments, and I don’t know why I’m not crying, but I should be because it’s so beautiful and that’s how affected I am!

You know how you stumble upon something that’s so awesome but you weren’t really looking for it or expecting it?  I downloaded the wrong film and didn’t plan on watching any film at all on the last day of 2013.  I couldn’t eat my green mango and read a book at the same time, that’s why I thought to watch something instead.  And there it was on my Videos, a movie I knew that starred Jack Nicholson.  I remember loving “Something’s Gotta Give.”  I loved that movie and I just wanted to feel good because it’s a love story about an old couple.  But then this hit me hard on the head and I have to express my feelings.  It hit me straight to the heart.  A grumpy old man with OCD who is abhorrently mean to everybody, a gay artist who got beaten up violently and a single mother waitress.  WOW.  I am going to do research on the film now.

It turns out that this movie was nominated for seven Academy Awards, including best picture.  Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt won both best actor and actress for the film and rightly so!  I didn’t know it was this well-received, yet another heart-warming aspect of this whole experience.

It’s main theme song is “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”  The music in this movie is notable, I feel wonderful just hearing it during the end credits.  Actually, I’ve been replaying the end credits just to hear the instrumental music.  I feel hopeful, wonderful and funny.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle, don’t grumble, give a whistle!
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

Always look on the bright side of life! (whistle)
Always look on the right side of life (whistle)

If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten!
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you’re feeling in the dumps, don’t be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle — that’s the thing!
So always look on the bright side of life… (whistle)

Always look on the bright side of life…

Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true,
You’ll see it’s all a show,
Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life!

I remember this feeling.  It’s close to how I felt after watching “In Pursuit of Happiness.”  I wasn’t going to go through with my interview in ABS-CBN because it was too far and I had other things to do and going to QC would have been such a hassle… but after that movie, I was compelled and inspired to go for it: To go to that interview that changed my life forever.  Despite everything that has happened to me and even when things weren’t always great with work and the people at work… well.  Let’s just say I cannot imagine my life without the past 5 years.  I just can’t.

Now I’ve heard this line before, the one that I’m about to share.  I’ve heard it around but I didn’t know that it came from this movie, or it was delivered in this context.  The line stands alone but it’s much sweeter and shocking to hear it with the whole dialogue and setting.  This Melvin is crazy!! :)) Don’t read on if you don’t want to get spoiled.  It’s so much better to watch it!  Message me and I can bring you a copy if you want.

Melvin Udall: I’ve got a really great compliment for you, and it’s true.
Carol Connelly: I’m so afraid you’re about to say something awful.
Melvin Udall: Don’t be pessimistic, it’s not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I’ve got this, what – ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I’m using the word “hate” here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never… all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.
Carol Connelly: I don’t quite get how that’s a compliment for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.

My hairs stood on end to hear that familiar line.  I didn’t know it was from this movie and I definitely didn’t expect that from Melvin Undall!!!  That was awesome.  That was… fantastic.

Okay, I got this out of my system.  This movie is not your typical romantic comedy.  I don’t even know if it’s a comedy.  But Jack Nicholson is just fantastic in his portrayal of an old grump with OCD.  He starts out as such as horrible person (they say that in the movie) and I’m amazed at how the film pulled off his character development.  Kudos, kudos, kudos.

I do believe that things happen for a reason.  It might sound foolish, but this emotional, uncomfortable movie felt like God’s answer to one of my prayers.  Oh, oh and before I finish this entry I want to share what I read in Facebook earlier, posted by an old friend who recently got engaged (from an article on prayer):

Prayer is a means of bringing you to the point where you will accept what God wants. If you’re using prayer just for getting what you want, your engaging in an improper use of prayer.

To live a full and happy life is to learn to say, “This is what I’d like to have Lord, if You think it’s all right for me. But if You don’t, then give me what You want me to have or show me what You want me to do.”

What is bothering you? What is your difficulty? Just start praying. Fill your mind full of God. Then have the audacity to pray big, daring prayers. What do you want to be? Tell the Lord you want to be that. What do you want to accomplish? Tell Him. What do you want to happen? Tell Him. And believe. Be prepared for Him to tell you no. But also be prepared for Him to tell you yes. Great things happen when you pray.

I don’t know if this will be my last post for 2013.  But if it is, I would like to bid 2012 a goodbye.  I think I’ve learned enough to know that the next year won’t ever be devoid of trials, tears and challenges, but I will always have it in me to hope, no matter how many times I go down, screaming, crying and crashing.  You see, I’ve had my heart broken too many times to count the past 2 years, by the same person I have loved, trusted and hoped for.  I won’t deny that I still love him and I probably always will.  I am going to have to heal and learn to forgive… but I’m grateful for these thoughts, just when I least expected it.

One thing I know now, with all my heart:  Each relationship is two way.  I let him treat me this way.  He decided to treat me that way.  We are both at fault, but I own up to my mistakes.  I’ve made my amends and extended myself out of respect, care and love.  He has only made half-hearted promises and never pulled through with making amends.  I’m still waiting for him to see the truth of himself and what we have.  I think until he does, I can never let him into my life.  Because true friends love each other.  True friends are there for each other for the good times and bad times.  True friends wouldn’t hurt each other this way.  He has been as harsh to me as a lover would be.  He has been tender with me as only a lover could be.  And despite these things, he treated me as neither to the very end.

I think God has been wanted me to understand this from the very beginning.  Nothing good comes from taking it all on by myself.  We have to acknowledge that it takes two to tango.  And that no matter how much we love someone, we have to let them know that they can’t treat other people this way.  It is wrong, hurtful and something we would never do to people we love and respect.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Right now, I see a pretty window as I sit here typing these words.  This is my world: magic hour sunlight, country music, words and love.  For now, everything is alright in 2012.  Right now, everything is alright in 2012.  A broken heart needs all of these things, the things in my world.  And this broken heart is mine.  I will nestle it close and give it all the love it deserves.  I think that this year has proven to me how resilient the human heart is.  I do believe that I have grown in my capacity to love, forgive others and look at myself honestly.

Last Afternoon of 2013


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