Two Wednesdays Ago

“You see, I understand clearly.”
What, exactly?
“Why you treat me the way you do.”
“You’re not going to ask me what I’m going to say?”
You’re going to say it anyway. What is it?
“You… you are so infuriating. I just don’t understand why, why, why.”
“Don’t look at me like that. You have to explain why.”
Why you feel that way?
“Why you made me feel bad. I thought we were friends. You were one of those people who made this space safe. I’m not close to anyone here, not really. I loved coming here because I’d be seeing you.” (You made me better. You made me aspire for more. You made me believe in myself, something I haven’t had in a long time).
We’re okay now.
“But I need to know. Why?”
“You’re such a jerk.”
You knew that already.
“Okay. So… nothing?”
We’re okay now.
“Okay, thanks.” (All those words, thoughts, nights, and sounds wasted wondering; hoping that I meant something to you. You made me move. You pushed me into the direction I needed to go. I thought at least, I mattered to you. You said you loved me.)

The mood just fades. There’s a promise to talk, yes. But do I even want to? Do you even want to. It comes to a point when a person you thought–

Suffice to say, he never felt the same about you.


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